It was like a home movie version of that old TV reality show in which a contestant is challenged to create a gourmet meal using only the dregs of an unsuspecting homeowner’s kitchen. The plot: a Greek arrives for a visit in New York. Her hosts are engaged in a full-on work binge and are unable to spend more than late-dinner-time with their guest. She is bored. She is an accomplished cook, but, speaking no English, she is afraid to shop for food. Her hosts have neglected to stock either the pantry or the refrigerator. As a result it contains only the milk necessary for copious amounts of morning coffee, a few eggs of suspect age and some mouldy cheese of unknown provenance. Yet they return home from the office to find she has been hard at work. There on a platter is a pile of crisp cheese pies, still hot from the oven. “Did you shop?” asked her surprised hosts. “Oh no,” she said, “You had plenty.”
This story (absolutely true!) illustrates the essence of Greek pie making: it is the art of creating something fantastic from nearly nothing – the art of not just making do with what you’ve got, but celebrating what is at hand.
It is an art that has been practiced in Greece since the days of Pericles, though perhaps perfected in more recent times.

A Plethora of Pies
There are literally hundreds of different types of pies. Some are rectangular, some coiled, some shaped like sticks, and some folded into small triangles. Some are savory, some are sweet. Usually the dough is comprised of merely flour, water and olive oil, though sometimes butter is used and sometimes yeast or another rising agent is added. Regional differences abound. Every area has some form of pie made from local cheese combined, possibly, with local greens. The most famous region for Greek pies is probably the Northwestern, mountainous region of Epirus. Epirus has two things going for it: a whole lot of sheep, which produce a wide array of cheeses, and an amazing variety of wild greens and herbs. One of my favorites is nettle pie – talk about creative use of an unusual ingredient! Another famous Greek pie comes from Skopelos, an island touted to be the greenest in the Aegean. A coiled, baked pie filled with goat cheese, it is deliciously rich.

"Regional differences abound. Every area has some form of pie made from local cheese combined, possibly, with local greens"

Ingredients
½ a seedless cucumber, peeled and grated,
with excess water removed
1-3 cloves garlic, center stalk removed,
grated or chopped finely
1 generous handful dill, chopped
3 containers Fage Greek-style whole milk yogurt
(pre-strained) or regular yogurt,
strained through cheesecloth
¼ cup (6 cl) extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon (1.5 cl) apple cider vinegar Salt

Preparation
Grate the cucumber, avoiding the center (grate as if the cucumber was square, grating each side until you reach the watery center). Squeeze out the excess water and place the cucumber in a bowl. Add the garlic (note: the center of a clove is the garlic’s defense against predators – removing the center reduces the chance of having a gassy response to the garlic), dill and yogurt and combine. Slowly stir in the olive oil so it is absorbed in the dip. Add the vinegar and salt.

Hard Labor
The ingredients needed to make a Greek pie may be few, but the effort required to actually create the pie is significant. This is how you make one type of Greek pie. First you make dough. Keep it simple and stick to the flour, water and olive oil scenario. Don’t forget to knead it well. Let it rest. You then divide the dough into six balls. You let them rest. Then you take a long, thin rolling pin called a verga – or, in a pinch, the handle of a broom – and you roll each of the six pieces into sheets so thin that light shines through them. Next you lay the first three sheets on a large, rectangular baking pan, brushing each layer with olive oil. Then you add the filling that you have painstakingly prepared. This filling can include greens or other vegetables (like zucchini), and/or cheese(s) (usually including Feta). Whatever. Then you place the remaining three dough sheets on top of the filling, again brushing each with olive oil. (As an aside, I find it easier to lay each sheet in the pan as I have completed rolling them. Otherwise you must hang each sheet on, for example, a chair and place a damp cloth over each completed sheet to keep them from drying out.)

No, you aren’t finished yet. Now take a knife and cut the pie through to the filling into distinct squares. Beat one or two eggs, mix them with a little water, and pour the mixture on top of the pie so that it flows through the slices you have made. Wait. Make a phone call or something. Now put the pie in an oven pre-heated to 190 degrees Celsius (375 degrees Fahrenheit) for about an hour (it depends on the filling). Serve it up and watch three hours of hard labor disappear in under ten minutes.

"Alternately, you could simply get someone else to make the pie for you"

Yes, you can skip the dough part and just buy premade Phyllo Dough. This will require brushing not 6 but 32 sheets of dough with olive oil. Please do so quickly, or the dough will dry out.

Easy Bake
Alternately, you could simply get someone else to make the pie for you. Luckily, there are several candidates, all of whom export their pies. Following is a sample of the more unusual offerings. Alpha makes double leek and cheese pies, formed into stick-like rolls. Ioniki Sfoliata makes a Lenten spinach pie suitable for vegans. Brakopoulos makes two versions of the Skopelos style pie; one with just cheese and one with cheese and spinach. And Cretan Foods makes a pie using a Cretan PDO cheese called Xinomizithra. True, these pies, too, will disappear in under 10 minutes – but at least you didn’t have to make them yourself. e